The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [01.18.10]

The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [01.18.10]
Written by: Angus Skaaland on Jan. 18 2010 at 12:17am

Jesus freebasin’ Christ.

That’s what I’ve got to say about the last couple of weeks.

First thing’s first, though, I want to address that useless blimp of a man Dan Pollaski. This fat fuck falls off the face of the earth four years ago, probably worked at an Arby’s somewhere, and now just because he’s still got a few Whirleybirdz t-shirts to hock he’s got the “official” blog of the Alliance?

You see, it’s ignorant shit like this why Defiance was formed in the first place, and why a war has been declared. Instead of coming to me to do an official column, that retired lump Chance Sr. gets a guy who’s claim to fame was not fucking Wendy Briese.

All because he kisses the Alliances ass.

Well let me tell you this, fat man, you’re a real big man, running your mouth from behind your cellphone. You got something to say about Defiance, why don’t you bring your bubble-but to my studio and get it off your chest.

I’m sure I can get a couch moved in that’s big enough for you to sit on without crushing it.

In other news, HOW’s champion, Aceldama, made it his business to call out Eric Dane personally last week on their Turmoil television show. I was in the office, helping Eric with some post-editing for the Defiance show, when Turmoil came on. So, we stopped, decided we’d take a look at what they had to offer since we’d already promised them some talent for their little D1 Champions Carnival tournament ripoff. The show wasn’t on for five minutes before this guy started running his mouth.

I can say in all honesty that Eric actually “lol’d” during that promo.

Predictably, Eric shot down the match that Ace wanted. However, it turns out that Frank Dylan James, our newest interviewer and resident wild hillbilly, has accepted the challenge on Dane’s behalf.

Now, the paperwork hasn’t been finalized yet, but unless something drastic happens in the next couple of days this match is going to happen. Frankly (ha, get it, “Frankly”), I’d say Ace would have been better off wrestling Dane. At least he has an off-switch. Sort of.

Frank is just balls out crazy.

We’ll see what those pricks are made of. In the meanwhile, I’m officially picking Cobra to win the Lee Best Invitational. If he doesn’t, I’m calling for a riot.

And then there’s the eGG Bandits.

You know, I’ve seen some outlandish, stupid things go on in the wrestling business. But egging a guy’s car? Seriously? What are they, twelve? Well, we already knew Adrien was like fifteen, but these guys...

I can’t even wrap my brain around it.

I mean, they do understand that they’re going to have to answer for that, right? And we’re not exactly in the business of playing practical jokes on people that cross us. Somebody’s going to get hurt, and badly, all because these kids thought they’d get their faces on TV by egging a car.

Tsk, tsk.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

So, now that I’ve (again) said enough about all of the idiots around the Alliance, I’d like to concentrate on Defiance Television. Last week’s show was all around great, if you forget about the Bandits. The Champions Carnival is getting to the nitty-gritty, feuds are heating up, partnerships are forming, it’s almost like we’re running a wrestling company!

(ZING~!)

Episode 4 is shaping up to be even better, as we bring you the best that Defiance has to offer from the Big Easy. And right now, I’d like to take a few minutes and break down all of the matches and give my thoughts on a few things.

Solaine/Box/Dean/Fujita vs Fiasco/Hart/Langston/Skull
Talk about a hell of a way to start off a show! First, I want to say that as a wrestling fan it’s a dream to see Fujita work in person. I’ve been collecting tapes since I was a teenager, and I’ve seen my fair share of his matches in Japan, but for him to be inside of a Defiance ring, it’s just surreal. That said, the heel team is going to have to work their asses to the bone to even have a hope in this one! Solaine’s finally gotten on the winning track, Box is riding high, even BBD looked good last week! And Fooj, let’s just say I don’t see J.D. Hart or Xavier Langston being able to hold a candle up to his burning spirit.

Throw in Justin Brooks as a special guest referee, and you’ve got all sorts of possibilities. This match has some serious connotations, as all contenders are being reviewed for future title matches and opportunities. I can say this, whoever shines in this match is going to shine in Defiance, and that’s a promise.

Greer vs Kongo
You know, I don’t have any excuses for Greer. He’s been a friend of mine for years, and I’ve been accused of being a shameless Team Danger mark at times, but if he doesn’t get his shit together D.R. Kongo is going to kick his fucking teeth down his fucking throat. Kongo needs this one to stay near the top of the Block A points table, and Greer needs it so he can be taken seriously as something other than an attack dog again. I’m not saying that Greer’s not totally capable of stretching Kongo and knocking him cold out, I’m just saying it depends on which Greer shows up for the match.

And if Kelly Evans, Johnny Lightning, or Cobra have anything to say about the issue.

Drago vs Kort
This is another important match in the A Block. Kort has been impressing anyone who’s been watching as he’s rededicated himself to not only knocking heads in the ring, but making Justin Brooks get his coffee too! If Kort gets hot, or finds some way to cheat or get Brooks involved, he could very well walk away with the points in this one. However, you can expect Murray Monroe to be on hand to keep the shenanigans to a minimum, and straight up in the ring, Kort is a dead man when Drago gets his hands on him...

Southern Hospitality vs The Foreshadowing
Okay. Now, Malik and Junior have definitely put on their game faces. The question is, aside from the best promo this side of The Incomparable Hero, what exactly do Tom Sawyer and Lucas Harper bring to the table? I know one thing, if they wrestle anything like they talk, Sawyer’ll probably submit to the ringsteps.

This is a serious one though, with Tag Team Titles on the horizon nothing less than a win here will be acceptable for either team. We’ll have to wait and see who wants it more, though.

Booth vs Vasquez
This is my sleeper for match of the night. Booth hung with Cobra last week and he’s been consistently putting on entertaining promos and matches since the inception of Defiance. However, Chico Vasquez is an animal, and he’s not in a very good mood. It’s make or break time for both me, though, as this is a crucial two points at a crucial time in the Champions Carnival.

I will say that this is either going to be the most entertaining match on the card, or the bloodiest. We’ll have to see how it unfolds on Friday night.

Cobra vs Lightning
You know, on paper this is a great matchup. But then, if you factor in the fact that Lightning has just been thrust into the position of one-half of the World Tag Team Champions with Steve Greer, and the fact that Cobra just had an LBI match, and has a World Title match with Jack Amethyst just two days later, this match could be make or break for either guy.

And then, factor in that Greer and Lightning have apparently aligned with Cobra, and who the hell knows what’s going to happen. Could we see the end of this faction before it even gets started? Who knows, the one thing I do know is that these guys can both go, and they both know what’s on the line in this one!

Now, let’s take a look at the Points Table:

Block A:
1. Bronson Box [4]
2. D.R. Kongo [3]
2. Joe Drago [3]
4. Jimmy Kort [2]
5. Stephen Greer [0]

Block B:
1. Aaron Vasquez [4]
2. Cobra [3]
3. Josias Solaine [2]
3. Leon Booth [2]
5. Johnny Lightning [1]

Remember, the top two scorers in each block will go on to the Sudden Death tournament finals. So with that in mind, it’s still anybody’s game. Anybody can get hot or cold at any time, so these next two rounds are sure to be full to the brim with guys looking to make their mark not only on Defiance, but on the Alliance as a whole.

Like I said before, Episode 4 is going to be stacked.

As far as the rest of the Alliance goes, well, we’ll see if anyone’s got the balls to show up in some capacity that doesn’t involve eggs. I can already tell you what’s going to happen if those idiot eGG Bandits show up again, but what about the rest of the Alliance?

I doubt anybody’s got the sack to step up to Defiance.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see...