So, I was sitting up at four in the morning in my underwear eating Cheetos and I happened to catch a replay of WMW’s Ides of March Pay-Per-View on DirecTicket, and I made a couple of supposedly hillarious observations.
So.
I figure I’ll talk about that before I get to the happenings from Fort Worth on Defiance TV S01E07 and the latest travesty of a Missouri Valley Wrestling show.
First thing’s first, who in the hell starts a show with a Cage Match? Seriously? Are you telling me that this match between Umbrage and “other guy” had enough heat that it warranted a cage, but not enough to warrant a higher spot on the card?
Seriously?
I call bullshit.
Decent match though, predictably Umbrage picked up the win, though, as WMW management seems content to shove him down our throats as a legitimate wrestler. We’ll see what happens if he ever grows a set and pops on down into Defiance to get his supposed property back.
Before the cage match we were treated to the arrival of HOW owner and former prison rape victim/WfWA affiliate Lee Best, and all I can say about that is: Why?
Would this have made more sense with HOW still in the Alliance?
Just goes to show you, some people can’t see the forest for the goddamned trees burning down around them. I don’t know what else to tell you though, as before anything interesting could be discerned from the situation Best took his leave of Cleveland.
So, I guess this was just filler with the distinct pleasure of getting us from one match to another.
Next up was a match for a title, there were stipulations and a special Guest referee. None of that matters, because it was a shitty excuse for a Tai Pei Deathmatch. Endgame came with the referee, Valora of “thinks she’s a World Tag Team Champion” fame, basically picked the girl to win the match. Do I smell Girl Power?
No, I smell fish.
You have to wonder, after the disgusting display that was Valora licking the blood of both battered competitors from their unconcious bodies, do you think that when she’s riding the crimson wave she ever rubs one out and then has a taste of the cash and prizes just for good measure?
Ugh, if you could see me, I’m shuddering now.
Also retching.
The following segment was some kind of lesbian stroke-fest between Jade, Hecate, and Valora. The basic gist was that That Damn Awesome, apparently a stable of some sort, will not be ruined by little things like Valora drinking their blood or playing the role of biased guest referee in a title match.
Sometimes I wonder...
Anyway, the show went on with a Lions Den Match...
You heard me, the worst gimmick of 1997 makes a return to wrestling in the form of a Shoot Championship match between a couple of people I don’t care about. Suffice it to say, nothing of interest happened here.
Do you know what I’m starting to notice about WMW? Jade, Valora, and Hecate seem to be in every single goddamned match and segment on every single show they produce. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I noticed it. Hell, those three are about the only people in the Midwest that I’ve even bothered to Google to find out about.
I guess the whole “jam them down our throats” routine is working.
Next up was yet another title match. Jesus Christ, how many belts can one promotion possibly need? Seriously, is the roster that deprived that they need a 1:3 ratio of belts to wrestlers? On a high note, this match involved not only a couple of dudes, but dudes who seemed to have a genuine dislike of eachother.
I was looking for the inclusion of one of the 3 Main Vaginas in Cleveland, thankfully there was none. However, that didn’t last long because before much else could happen Valora Salinas was on my screen. Again.
She was backstage with erstwhile tag team partner Umbrage when a bunch of those bimbos from Missouri showed up. Just when things couldn’t get any more lesbian-oriented Jackie Daniels and The Angels of Death from MVW unleashed their present to the supposed “World Tag Team Champions” in the form of Kelly Evans, Team Danger* associate, valet, head cheerleader, and bottom bitch.
I guess the idea here was that we’d be super-pissed that somebody went and kidnapped the Gutterskank since we’ve got their precious little belts.
Ha.
It smells better in Defiance already.
So, thanks.
Oh, and enjoy it when she gets horny and her stink starts wafting through the halls at whatever bingo hall in Cleveland that WMW runs show out of.
So, good luck with that.
Moving right along, HEY LOOK! MORE VALORA SALINAS!
I’m not going to recap this match, but I would like to point out that it was inside of a cage for some reason. I guess maybe they announced it somewhere, I really wasn’t paying that close of attention. Anyhow, of course Valora wins by shenanigans, because that’s what she’s good at. Whoever she beat was pretty pissed off. Whatever.
Next up, WMW owner Brad Johnson of “Please don’t call me Brad Jackson” fame read a prepared statement that said something along the lines of “Blah, blah, blah, Defiance, blah, blah.”
“Blah!”
Get this straight kiddies, until you step on down here into our world, we don’t give a shit about you, any of your idle threats or idiotic demands.
Less talk. More fight. Then you will suck less.
Fags.
Now, that was the WMW show. Let’s just say I’m glad I have an expense account do I didn’t have to spend any of my money on that bunch of crap.
To recap why Jackie Daniels and The Angels of Death were so uppity as to kidnap the least valuable employee on the Defiance payroll, apparently Jason Carmondy of “Hey, I run MVW” fame was a little annoyed when Eric Dane and Hydra showed up in Missori and ran over his champion, one Jackie Daniels, with a car.
Price of doing business, girls, get used to it.
In one final bit of “Alliance” news, Greer and Lightning went out to AW the other day and spoiled the big bad debut of Jeff Andrews girlfriend. Why, you may find yourself asking. Well the answer is simple: She deserved it for coming into Defiance and putting her hands- er, feet on Johnny Lightning. Twice.
Note to Untouchables: Team Danger has a distinctly sexist approach to Women in Wrestling. Expect the Faygo to be uncorked the next time Greer gets his hands on that one!
Now.
*Deep, cleansing breath*
I was going to recap Defiance's latest offering, but I figure anyone reading this blog has already seen the show, so why waste my time, eh?
So, there you have it folks, me pissing off a bunch of people I'll probably never meet. Until next time, remember to keep it Defiant and don't forget to check out the Preview Podcast and then the epic FINALE to Season One coming up on March 27th!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [03.06.10]
Well Jesus bail-jumping Christ!
It’s been January since I’ve had the time to bust out one of these blog deals. Let me tell you something, going on the road with Eric Dane is an exhausting process.
The guy is such a work-a-haulic I have to make him eat more times than not.
So anyway, It’s been a while, and a lot of shit has happened, and I’m sure you fuck-asses have been frothing at the mouth to hear what I’ve got to say about everything. Well, too bad, I’m fucking lazy, you get this week and nothing else!
…
Okay, not seriously.
Part of the reason I’m even writing this blog today is because I was cleaning out my laptop and came across a blog that I wrote last month and never got around to posting. It was right around the time of that whole DWF/HOW bullshit blowout, and let me tell you, it was vulgar.
So, just because I love you faggots (NOHOMO!) I’m going to paste that in at the end of this week’s blog. It’ll give you something to laugh about while you remember the bullshit that was the DWF/HOW era of the World Wrestling Alliance.
But I digress, that bullshit is for later.
Right now, we’ve got brand new controversies on our hands!
For starters, Team Danger* “lost” the World Tag Team Titles at WMW’s Graveyard Shift 10 a couple of weeks ago. I stress the quotations around that word, because as far as I’m concerned they were robbed!
Well, not really, let’s call a spade a spade. They got beat on a flash-pin, kicked the fuck out of some chick from Miami and some old guy with a stupid name, and we called shenanigans.
And guess what, motherfuckers, it worked.
Johnny Lightning and Stephen Greer still have the title belts.
Next up came Defiance TV Season 1 Episode 6. What the fuck happened? Hydra started falling apart at the seams, Aaron Vasquez beat the crap out of some dickhead Dream reject and actually got a decent reaction from the crowd, and even Justin Brooks decided to remember that he used to be a World Champion caliber wrestler.
It was like a fell asleep and woke up in Bizzaro-World.
No, not Canada, you fucking marks, I mean Bizzaro-World from the comic books.
Get it right.
To top all of that off, what the hell was up with Greer and Lightning interfering in the World Title match? And not even at a crucial point! I mean, I know Stevie was a little steamed at being treated like a lackey, but Cobra’s the man in charge, right?
Or is he?
And what’s up with Johnny Lightning? Is he actually getting to be more likable by being around Greer? I swear, I almost thought I saw a set of nuts swinging between his legs there for a minute.
Yeesh.
Anyhow, Cobra kept the belt and all is well in the world.
Well, for a minute. The next thing you know Drew Carrey calls a press conference where he sang “Cleveland Rocks” for half an hour before throwing a tantrum and begging Chance Wolfington to make Umbralora a new set of title belts or something.
Fuck if I know what actually happened, I can barely keep my eyes open when anyone from Ohio starts talking. What I do know is that like the corporate pussy-whipped little whelp that he is, Chance Wolfington immediately dropped down on his knees and started fellating the entire roster and management team of Wrestling Mid-West, probably even gave out a few hand-jobs to the ring-crew before making the audacious claims that he could make Eric Dane or Team Danger* do anything that they didn’t want to do.
I guffawed, literally.
You know, this is the part where I’m supposed to put over how illegal the rule-change for the World Tag Title match in WMW was, but since ol’ Chance couldn’t even be bothered to show up himself in Cleveland, I’ll just go ahead and tell you that the whole thing was a cleverly executed plan to piss on the Alliance, Wrestling Mid-West, and anyone else who isn’t drinking the Defiance Kool-aid.
Bottom line is this:
Greer and Lightning have the belts.
Brad Johnson think’s he’s gonna put his big-boy pants on and come on down South with his retard and his housekeeper and they’re going to take the belts back.
Three words: We. Dare. You.
Just remember what’s happened to every idiot from HOW, Dream, and Appalachian who’s decided that they were just gonna waltz into Defiance and point their dicks (and tits, for you Valora fans out there) around it get what they want.
WMW doesn’t have the balls to stand up to Defiance.
The Alliance doesn’t have the balls to stand up to Defiance.
Chance Wolfington is a useless figurehead of a bye-gone conclusion of an ideal. This is a war, people, and Wolfington is going to end up just another casualty when everything is said and done.
And afterward?
Wrestling Utopia.
That’s all for this week, kids, but as promised, here is the blog that I should have posted three weeks ago when the shit hit the fan. I blame this on Eric for having me on call 72 hours per day.
From February 23rd, 2010:
It’s been January since I’ve had the time to bust out one of these blog deals. Let me tell you something, going on the road with Eric Dane is an exhausting process.
The guy is such a work-a-haulic I have to make him eat more times than not.
So anyway, It’s been a while, and a lot of shit has happened, and I’m sure you fuck-asses have been frothing at the mouth to hear what I’ve got to say about everything. Well, too bad, I’m fucking lazy, you get this week and nothing else!
…
Okay, not seriously.
Part of the reason I’m even writing this blog today is because I was cleaning out my laptop and came across a blog that I wrote last month and never got around to posting. It was right around the time of that whole DWF/HOW bullshit blowout, and let me tell you, it was vulgar.
So, just because I love you faggots (NOHOMO!) I’m going to paste that in at the end of this week’s blog. It’ll give you something to laugh about while you remember the bullshit that was the DWF/HOW era of the World Wrestling Alliance.
But I digress, that bullshit is for later.
Right now, we’ve got brand new controversies on our hands!
For starters, Team Danger* “lost” the World Tag Team Titles at WMW’s Graveyard Shift 10 a couple of weeks ago. I stress the quotations around that word, because as far as I’m concerned they were robbed!
Well, not really, let’s call a spade a spade. They got beat on a flash-pin, kicked the fuck out of some chick from Miami and some old guy with a stupid name, and we called shenanigans.
And guess what, motherfuckers, it worked.
Johnny Lightning and Stephen Greer still have the title belts.
Next up came Defiance TV Season 1 Episode 6. What the fuck happened? Hydra started falling apart at the seams, Aaron Vasquez beat the crap out of some dickhead Dream reject and actually got a decent reaction from the crowd, and even Justin Brooks decided to remember that he used to be a World Champion caliber wrestler.
It was like a fell asleep and woke up in Bizzaro-World.
No, not Canada, you fucking marks, I mean Bizzaro-World from the comic books.
Get it right.
To top all of that off, what the hell was up with Greer and Lightning interfering in the World Title match? And not even at a crucial point! I mean, I know Stevie was a little steamed at being treated like a lackey, but Cobra’s the man in charge, right?
Or is he?
And what’s up with Johnny Lightning? Is he actually getting to be more likable by being around Greer? I swear, I almost thought I saw a set of nuts swinging between his legs there for a minute.
Yeesh.
Anyhow, Cobra kept the belt and all is well in the world.
Well, for a minute. The next thing you know Drew Carrey calls a press conference where he sang “Cleveland Rocks” for half an hour before throwing a tantrum and begging Chance Wolfington to make Umbralora a new set of title belts or something.
Fuck if I know what actually happened, I can barely keep my eyes open when anyone from Ohio starts talking. What I do know is that like the corporate pussy-whipped little whelp that he is, Chance Wolfington immediately dropped down on his knees and started fellating the entire roster and management team of Wrestling Mid-West, probably even gave out a few hand-jobs to the ring-crew before making the audacious claims that he could make Eric Dane or Team Danger* do anything that they didn’t want to do.
I guffawed, literally.
You know, this is the part where I’m supposed to put over how illegal the rule-change for the World Tag Title match in WMW was, but since ol’ Chance couldn’t even be bothered to show up himself in Cleveland, I’ll just go ahead and tell you that the whole thing was a cleverly executed plan to piss on the Alliance, Wrestling Mid-West, and anyone else who isn’t drinking the Defiance Kool-aid.
Bottom line is this:
Greer and Lightning have the belts.
Brad Johnson think’s he’s gonna put his big-boy pants on and come on down South with his retard and his housekeeper and they’re going to take the belts back.
Three words: We. Dare. You.
Just remember what’s happened to every idiot from HOW, Dream, and Appalachian who’s decided that they were just gonna waltz into Defiance and point their dicks (and tits, for you Valora fans out there) around it get what they want.
WMW doesn’t have the balls to stand up to Defiance.
The Alliance doesn’t have the balls to stand up to Defiance.
Chance Wolfington is a useless figurehead of a bye-gone conclusion of an ideal. This is a war, people, and Wolfington is going to end up just another casualty when everything is said and done.
And afterward?
Wrestling Utopia.
That’s all for this week, kids, but as promised, here is the blog that I should have posted three weeks ago when the shit hit the fan. I blame this on Eric for having me on call 72 hours per day.
From February 23rd, 2010:
Well, it’s been three days shy of a month since anyone’s heard from me on the internet. I’d love to tell you that my absence has been due to a vacation in the Cayman Islands, but it’s really more to do with my Boss’s obsessive-compulsive need to be working on Defiance projects every waking hour of every goddamned day.
And believe me, the man doesn’t sleep much.
So, what brings me back to the innarwebz?
Well, drama of course.
AND BOY HAVE WE HAD SOME DRAMA!
Bottom line is this: Chance Wolfington went out and got himself a couple of ringers in the forms of High Octane Wrestling and Dream Wrestling, he thought he could win a war with a bunch of guys who had no history or ties to the Alliance, and it blew up in his face.
Once Lee Best figured out that this wasn’t going to be the High Octane Blowjob Party, he took his ball and he went home. More power too him, I’d have probably done the same thing given the same circumstances. We wish them well in all of their future blah blah blahs.
And then there’s Dream. Mark Zylbert tried to get his guys into this thing, I’ll give him that. We had some interactions, we even got egg on our face once or twice (see what I did there?) in doing this thing. In the end, Zylbert didn’t like his prized wrestlers getting beat up on our shows. There was that and something about World Domination.
Seriously.
In the end, this was all just an episode of Pinky and the Brain.
That goes to show you, you can’t win a war without a goddamned army. Right now, Chance Wolfington looks like an idiot because instead of building his own army and fighting Defiance like a man, he thought it was a good idea to bring together a bunch of egos who think they’re bigger than the business and eachother.
And look, it backfired.
What does this mean?
Defiance is winning the War.
AW can’t even get their shit together long enough to get into the arena at this point, their fearless leader can no longer even open up doors without help. Seriously, who’s gonna step up in Appalachia, Ronnie Long? He’d better just stay out of Jeffy’s bottle of Jager if you know what I mean...
Who’s that leave, White Mou-
Yeah, I went there.
...Wrestling Mid-West? Isn’t that the ladies promotion? Wait, no, that’s Missouri Valley... Goddammit, all of these letters are too much alike!
This is what I know:
Nobody in the entire alliance has the sack to stand up against Defiance for longer than fifteen minutes, and if they do, they’ll get wrecked the same way we’ve wrecked AW, and they’ll get ran off the same way we ran off HOW and Dream.
This is a war, ladies and gentlemen. We don’t plan on fighting fair, and we don’t plan on losing. So, might I suggest everyone just fall in line and allow the Change to happen? At least that way you’ll get to keep your jobs when this is all said and done with, as opposed to getting beaten up, hospitalized, and having your promotions being torn down around you.
Now, speaking of people keeping their jobs...
Dan “I eat ‘cuz I’m sad and I’m sad ‘cuz I eat” Pollaski decided to poke his very ample nose into Defiance last week. He got all “chummy” with the boss and think’s he’s safe enough now that he can keep running his mouth.
What Mr. Pole-ass doesn’t understand is that just because the boss is amused by you doesn’t mean that I am, and it doesn’t mean that collateral damage won’t be accepted when this thing is all said and done with.
Don’t think I don’t have a couple of strings to pull myself.
Frankly, I’m still having trouble figuring out how you’ve managed to get yourself on the payroll in the Alliance. The only thing you’ve ever done is stand at ringside while you’re bosom buddies wrestled! The only thing you’ve ever accomplished is not fucking Wendy Briese while Twister jerks off to Hot Rod magazine.
And speaking of Twister...
There is a list, and Terrance Thompson’s name has been added to it.
Think about consequences the next time you decide to drive a truck into someone’s limo. Maybe you should ask Adrien Cochrane or Bobby Dean about consequences, I’m sure they’d be happy to tell you.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [01.18.10]
The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [01.18.10]
Written by: Angus Skaaland on Jan. 18 2010 at 12:17am
Jesus freebasin’ Christ.
That’s what I’ve got to say about the last couple of weeks.
First thing’s first, though, I want to address that useless blimp of a man Dan Pollaski. This fat fuck falls off the face of the earth four years ago, probably worked at an Arby’s somewhere, and now just because he’s still got a few Whirleybirdz t-shirts to hock he’s got the “official” blog of the Alliance?
You see, it’s ignorant shit like this why Defiance was formed in the first place, and why a war has been declared. Instead of coming to me to do an official column, that retired lump Chance Sr. gets a guy who’s claim to fame was not fucking Wendy Briese.
All because he kisses the Alliances ass.
Well let me tell you this, fat man, you’re a real big man, running your mouth from behind your cellphone. You got something to say about Defiance, why don’t you bring your bubble-but to my studio and get it off your chest.
I’m sure I can get a couch moved in that’s big enough for you to sit on without crushing it.
In other news, HOW’s champion, Aceldama, made it his business to call out Eric Dane personally last week on their Turmoil television show. I was in the office, helping Eric with some post-editing for the Defiance show, when Turmoil came on. So, we stopped, decided we’d take a look at what they had to offer since we’d already promised them some talent for their little D1 Champions Carnival tournament ripoff. The show wasn’t on for five minutes before this guy started running his mouth.
I can say in all honesty that Eric actually “lol’d” during that promo.
Predictably, Eric shot down the match that Ace wanted. However, it turns out that Frank Dylan James, our newest interviewer and resident wild hillbilly, has accepted the challenge on Dane’s behalf.
Now, the paperwork hasn’t been finalized yet, but unless something drastic happens in the next couple of days this match is going to happen. Frankly (ha, get it, “Frankly”), I’d say Ace would have been better off wrestling Dane. At least he has an off-switch. Sort of.
Frank is just balls out crazy.
We’ll see what those pricks are made of. In the meanwhile, I’m officially picking Cobra to win the Lee Best Invitational. If he doesn’t, I’m calling for a riot.
And then there’s the eGG Bandits.
You know, I’ve seen some outlandish, stupid things go on in the wrestling business. But egging a guy’s car? Seriously? What are they, twelve? Well, we already knew Adrien was like fifteen, but these guys...
I can’t even wrap my brain around it.
I mean, they do understand that they’re going to have to answer for that, right? And we’re not exactly in the business of playing practical jokes on people that cross us. Somebody’s going to get hurt, and badly, all because these kids thought they’d get their faces on TV by egging a car.
Tsk, tsk.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
So, now that I’ve (again) said enough about all of the idiots around the Alliance, I’d like to concentrate on Defiance Television. Last week’s show was all around great, if you forget about the Bandits. The Champions Carnival is getting to the nitty-gritty, feuds are heating up, partnerships are forming, it’s almost like we’re running a wrestling company!
(ZING~!)
Episode 4 is shaping up to be even better, as we bring you the best that Defiance has to offer from the Big Easy. And right now, I’d like to take a few minutes and break down all of the matches and give my thoughts on a few things.
Solaine/Box/Dean/Fujita vs Fiasco/Hart/Langston/Skull
Talk about a hell of a way to start off a show! First, I want to say that as a wrestling fan it’s a dream to see Fujita work in person. I’ve been collecting tapes since I was a teenager, and I’ve seen my fair share of his matches in Japan, but for him to be inside of a Defiance ring, it’s just surreal. That said, the heel team is going to have to work their asses to the bone to even have a hope in this one! Solaine’s finally gotten on the winning track, Box is riding high, even BBD looked good last week! And Fooj, let’s just say I don’t see J.D. Hart or Xavier Langston being able to hold a candle up to his burning spirit.
Throw in Justin Brooks as a special guest referee, and you’ve got all sorts of possibilities. This match has some serious connotations, as all contenders are being reviewed for future title matches and opportunities. I can say this, whoever shines in this match is going to shine in Defiance, and that’s a promise.
Greer vs Kongo
You know, I don’t have any excuses for Greer. He’s been a friend of mine for years, and I’ve been accused of being a shameless Team Danger mark at times, but if he doesn’t get his shit together D.R. Kongo is going to kick his fucking teeth down his fucking throat. Kongo needs this one to stay near the top of the Block A points table, and Greer needs it so he can be taken seriously as something other than an attack dog again. I’m not saying that Greer’s not totally capable of stretching Kongo and knocking him cold out, I’m just saying it depends on which Greer shows up for the match.
And if Kelly Evans, Johnny Lightning, or Cobra have anything to say about the issue.
Drago vs Kort
This is another important match in the A Block. Kort has been impressing anyone who’s been watching as he’s rededicated himself to not only knocking heads in the ring, but making Justin Brooks get his coffee too! If Kort gets hot, or finds some way to cheat or get Brooks involved, he could very well walk away with the points in this one. However, you can expect Murray Monroe to be on hand to keep the shenanigans to a minimum, and straight up in the ring, Kort is a dead man when Drago gets his hands on him...
Southern Hospitality vs The Foreshadowing
Okay. Now, Malik and Junior have definitely put on their game faces. The question is, aside from the best promo this side of The Incomparable Hero, what exactly do Tom Sawyer and Lucas Harper bring to the table? I know one thing, if they wrestle anything like they talk, Sawyer’ll probably submit to the ringsteps.
This is a serious one though, with Tag Team Titles on the horizon nothing less than a win here will be acceptable for either team. We’ll have to wait and see who wants it more, though.
Booth vs Vasquez
This is my sleeper for match of the night. Booth hung with Cobra last week and he’s been consistently putting on entertaining promos and matches since the inception of Defiance. However, Chico Vasquez is an animal, and he’s not in a very good mood. It’s make or break time for both me, though, as this is a crucial two points at a crucial time in the Champions Carnival.
I will say that this is either going to be the most entertaining match on the card, or the bloodiest. We’ll have to see how it unfolds on Friday night.
Cobra vs Lightning
You know, on paper this is a great matchup. But then, if you factor in the fact that Lightning has just been thrust into the position of one-half of the World Tag Team Champions with Steve Greer, and the fact that Cobra just had an LBI match, and has a World Title match with Jack Amethyst just two days later, this match could be make or break for either guy.
And then, factor in that Greer and Lightning have apparently aligned with Cobra, and who the hell knows what’s going to happen. Could we see the end of this faction before it even gets started? Who knows, the one thing I do know is that these guys can both go, and they both know what’s on the line in this one!
Now, let’s take a look at the Points Table:
Block A:
1. Bronson Box [4]
2. D.R. Kongo [3]
2. Joe Drago [3]
4. Jimmy Kort [2]
5. Stephen Greer [0]
Block B:
1. Aaron Vasquez [4]
2. Cobra [3]
3. Josias Solaine [2]
3. Leon Booth [2]
5. Johnny Lightning [1]
Remember, the top two scorers in each block will go on to the Sudden Death tournament finals. So with that in mind, it’s still anybody’s game. Anybody can get hot or cold at any time, so these next two rounds are sure to be full to the brim with guys looking to make their mark not only on Defiance, but on the Alliance as a whole.
Like I said before, Episode 4 is going to be stacked.
As far as the rest of the Alliance goes, well, we’ll see if anyone’s got the balls to show up in some capacity that doesn’t involve eggs. I can already tell you what’s going to happen if those idiot eGG Bandits show up again, but what about the rest of the Alliance?
I doubt anybody’s got the sack to step up to Defiance.
I guess we’ll have to wait and see...
Written by: Angus Skaaland on Jan. 18 2010 at 12:17am
Jesus freebasin’ Christ.
That’s what I’ve got to say about the last couple of weeks.
First thing’s first, though, I want to address that useless blimp of a man Dan Pollaski. This fat fuck falls off the face of the earth four years ago, probably worked at an Arby’s somewhere, and now just because he’s still got a few Whirleybirdz t-shirts to hock he’s got the “official” blog of the Alliance?
You see, it’s ignorant shit like this why Defiance was formed in the first place, and why a war has been declared. Instead of coming to me to do an official column, that retired lump Chance Sr. gets a guy who’s claim to fame was not fucking Wendy Briese.
All because he kisses the Alliances ass.
Well let me tell you this, fat man, you’re a real big man, running your mouth from behind your cellphone. You got something to say about Defiance, why don’t you bring your bubble-but to my studio and get it off your chest.
I’m sure I can get a couch moved in that’s big enough for you to sit on without crushing it.
In other news, HOW’s champion, Aceldama, made it his business to call out Eric Dane personally last week on their Turmoil television show. I was in the office, helping Eric with some post-editing for the Defiance show, when Turmoil came on. So, we stopped, decided we’d take a look at what they had to offer since we’d already promised them some talent for their little D1 Champions Carnival tournament ripoff. The show wasn’t on for five minutes before this guy started running his mouth.
I can say in all honesty that Eric actually “lol’d” during that promo.
Predictably, Eric shot down the match that Ace wanted. However, it turns out that Frank Dylan James, our newest interviewer and resident wild hillbilly, has accepted the challenge on Dane’s behalf.
Now, the paperwork hasn’t been finalized yet, but unless something drastic happens in the next couple of days this match is going to happen. Frankly (ha, get it, “Frankly”), I’d say Ace would have been better off wrestling Dane. At least he has an off-switch. Sort of.
Frank is just balls out crazy.
We’ll see what those pricks are made of. In the meanwhile, I’m officially picking Cobra to win the Lee Best Invitational. If he doesn’t, I’m calling for a riot.
And then there’s the eGG Bandits.
You know, I’ve seen some outlandish, stupid things go on in the wrestling business. But egging a guy’s car? Seriously? What are they, twelve? Well, we already knew Adrien was like fifteen, but these guys...
I can’t even wrap my brain around it.
I mean, they do understand that they’re going to have to answer for that, right? And we’re not exactly in the business of playing practical jokes on people that cross us. Somebody’s going to get hurt, and badly, all because these kids thought they’d get their faces on TV by egging a car.
Tsk, tsk.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
So, now that I’ve (again) said enough about all of the idiots around the Alliance, I’d like to concentrate on Defiance Television. Last week’s show was all around great, if you forget about the Bandits. The Champions Carnival is getting to the nitty-gritty, feuds are heating up, partnerships are forming, it’s almost like we’re running a wrestling company!
(ZING~!)
Episode 4 is shaping up to be even better, as we bring you the best that Defiance has to offer from the Big Easy. And right now, I’d like to take a few minutes and break down all of the matches and give my thoughts on a few things.
Solaine/Box/Dean/Fujita vs Fiasco/Hart/Langston/Skull
Talk about a hell of a way to start off a show! First, I want to say that as a wrestling fan it’s a dream to see Fujita work in person. I’ve been collecting tapes since I was a teenager, and I’ve seen my fair share of his matches in Japan, but for him to be inside of a Defiance ring, it’s just surreal. That said, the heel team is going to have to work their asses to the bone to even have a hope in this one! Solaine’s finally gotten on the winning track, Box is riding high, even BBD looked good last week! And Fooj, let’s just say I don’t see J.D. Hart or Xavier Langston being able to hold a candle up to his burning spirit.
Throw in Justin Brooks as a special guest referee, and you’ve got all sorts of possibilities. This match has some serious connotations, as all contenders are being reviewed for future title matches and opportunities. I can say this, whoever shines in this match is going to shine in Defiance, and that’s a promise.
Greer vs Kongo
You know, I don’t have any excuses for Greer. He’s been a friend of mine for years, and I’ve been accused of being a shameless Team Danger mark at times, but if he doesn’t get his shit together D.R. Kongo is going to kick his fucking teeth down his fucking throat. Kongo needs this one to stay near the top of the Block A points table, and Greer needs it so he can be taken seriously as something other than an attack dog again. I’m not saying that Greer’s not totally capable of stretching Kongo and knocking him cold out, I’m just saying it depends on which Greer shows up for the match.
And if Kelly Evans, Johnny Lightning, or Cobra have anything to say about the issue.
Drago vs Kort
This is another important match in the A Block. Kort has been impressing anyone who’s been watching as he’s rededicated himself to not only knocking heads in the ring, but making Justin Brooks get his coffee too! If Kort gets hot, or finds some way to cheat or get Brooks involved, he could very well walk away with the points in this one. However, you can expect Murray Monroe to be on hand to keep the shenanigans to a minimum, and straight up in the ring, Kort is a dead man when Drago gets his hands on him...
Southern Hospitality vs The Foreshadowing
Okay. Now, Malik and Junior have definitely put on their game faces. The question is, aside from the best promo this side of The Incomparable Hero, what exactly do Tom Sawyer and Lucas Harper bring to the table? I know one thing, if they wrestle anything like they talk, Sawyer’ll probably submit to the ringsteps.
This is a serious one though, with Tag Team Titles on the horizon nothing less than a win here will be acceptable for either team. We’ll have to wait and see who wants it more, though.
Booth vs Vasquez
This is my sleeper for match of the night. Booth hung with Cobra last week and he’s been consistently putting on entertaining promos and matches since the inception of Defiance. However, Chico Vasquez is an animal, and he’s not in a very good mood. It’s make or break time for both me, though, as this is a crucial two points at a crucial time in the Champions Carnival.
I will say that this is either going to be the most entertaining match on the card, or the bloodiest. We’ll have to see how it unfolds on Friday night.
Cobra vs Lightning
You know, on paper this is a great matchup. But then, if you factor in the fact that Lightning has just been thrust into the position of one-half of the World Tag Team Champions with Steve Greer, and the fact that Cobra just had an LBI match, and has a World Title match with Jack Amethyst just two days later, this match could be make or break for either guy.
And then, factor in that Greer and Lightning have apparently aligned with Cobra, and who the hell knows what’s going to happen. Could we see the end of this faction before it even gets started? Who knows, the one thing I do know is that these guys can both go, and they both know what’s on the line in this one!
Now, let’s take a look at the Points Table:
Block A:
1. Bronson Box [4]
2. D.R. Kongo [3]
2. Joe Drago [3]
4. Jimmy Kort [2]
5. Stephen Greer [0]
Block B:
1. Aaron Vasquez [4]
2. Cobra [3]
3. Josias Solaine [2]
3. Leon Booth [2]
5. Johnny Lightning [1]
Remember, the top two scorers in each block will go on to the Sudden Death tournament finals. So with that in mind, it’s still anybody’s game. Anybody can get hot or cold at any time, so these next two rounds are sure to be full to the brim with guys looking to make their mark not only on Defiance, but on the Alliance as a whole.
Like I said before, Episode 4 is going to be stacked.
As far as the rest of the Alliance goes, well, we’ll see if anyone’s got the balls to show up in some capacity that doesn’t involve eggs. I can already tell you what’s going to happen if those idiot eGG Bandits show up again, but what about the rest of the Alliance?
I doubt anybody’s got the sack to step up to Defiance.
I guess we’ll have to wait and see...
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [01.03.10]
The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [01.03.10]
Written by: Angus Skaaland on Jan. 3rd, 2010 at 9:02pm
First thing’s first, let me address Mark Zylbert:
Fuck Mark Zylbert.
Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let me elaborate. Zylbert likes to take pot-shots at other promotions, places like Hostility that’s on it’s deathbed, or Uncensored that’s embroiled in it’s own controversies just brought about by their name and style.
And he talks about places like HOW, shitting on them in one breath and then praising them in the next. It’s like he wants people to think he’s got balls, but in the end he doesn’t want to lose his precious contacts and affiliates.
(For more on my own thoughts about HOW, please continue reading.)
Then he fucks around as let’s the word “defiance” fall out of his mouth.
Maybe Mr. Zylbert has forgotten who facilitated Dream’s inclusion into the Alliance. Maybe he’s also forgotten who let him into Florida in the first place. Let me make it perfectly clear, if and when Eric Dane files a discrepancy on territorial incursion, Dream will pull up their skirts and go on back to wherever they used to run their shitty shows at.
If he thinks that just because the rights to a promotion that used to be respected and kept the doors from falling off for half a year he should be given some kind of award then he’s in for some disappointments in the very near future.
Besides, as far as Defiance is concerned, DWF isn’t even the best thing going in the state of Florida, let alone the Alliance. So of those corporate wannabe’s want to stick their nose in Defiance business, fine, so be it, but when it turns out that the eGG Bandits and… wait, do they even have anybody else?
Adrien Cochrane maybe?
Okay, so, Doozer, Jiles, and Adrien are going to save the Alliance?
You know what, never mind. I shouldn’t even have to comment on how little a chance that revolving door of a shit-factory has in a fight against Eric Dane and Defiance. And I mean that physically, politically, and monetarily.
This is the final warning, keep your nose clean and fall in line, it wouldn’t be wise for anyone to unnecessarily raise the ire of a man like Eric Dane.
Trust me.
There is only one Savior of the WfWA, and that man is not Mark Zylbert.
Now, moving right along, that man isn’t Mike Best, either. And, as it turns out, he’s one of those cock-hounds. So, HOW’s big ploy is that one brother takes it in the ass in prison, and the other takes it in the ass on purpose?
I don’t get it.
Defiance stomped their asses in the ratings at HOTv, Defiance is going to stomp their asses in their own tournament, and if anyone gets lippy about it, like that idiot Aceldema, then somebody from Defiance will gladly come on up to Chicago and stomp their ass too.
As for Wrestling Mid-West, those guys run a hell of a promotion up there, they’ve got some future stars in the ring and they’ve got the good sense to do their thing and sit back and wait on this little “War” to be over. WMW are to be praised for understanding their role in the new WfWA and accepting their spot in the hierarchy from here on out.
The same goes for Uncensored. I can tell you for a fact that Eric Dane has met with Spyder Gainey on at least one occasion and has nothing but good things to say about him and his promotion. It’s ties like these that will hold the Alliance together in the new year, while blowhards and cum-guzzlers try to razzle-dazzle you with their bankroll.
Well fuck that, and fuck them.
I’ve said it before, but allow me to reiterate:
Our Dicks > their dicks
End of story.
Now, moving along to something that people may actually have some modicum of interest in, the race to the Defiance Heavyweight Crown heated up on Episode 02 of Defiance TV as Aaron Vasquez and D.R. Kongo took leads in their individual blocks, and Bronson Box, Cobra, and Johnny Lightning made statements with their wins as well. The D1 Champions Carnival is shaping up to be the hottest thing going in the Alliance as 2010 gets up and going in January and February!
Here’s the points table after Round 2:
Block A:
1. D.R. Kongo [3]
2. Jimmy Kort [2]
2. Bronson Box [2]
4. Joe Drago [1]
5. Stephen Greer [0]
Block B:
1. Aaron Vasquez [4]
2. Cobra [2]
3. Johnny Lightning [1]
3. Leon Booth [1]
5. Josias Solaine [0]
It’s still wide open, and any of these ten men could take home the trophy and the title! There are a lot of points left on the table to be earned, but If things keep going the way they’ve been going we could see a very interesting Final Four Sudden Death after all five rounds of the League portion of the tournament are in the books!
Speculation has been tossed about recently about a secondary singles title as well as the planned Tag Team Titles that I spoke on last week. I can say for sure that we will be implementing another belt in the near future as our roster expands and we develop the need and the means to support one. I know that Eric wants to run this thing with a very oldschool vibe, and part of that vibe is a title belt for those guys on their way up the ladder toward bigger and better things!
So, don’t be surprised when you hear the announcements!
That’s all the time that I’ve got for you today, we’re gearing up for the first show of the New Year and Eric’s got me running all over the South trying to secure the venues as we build toward our first big event in late February or early March.
Keep it locked here and on the Defiance website for more news and notes as they happen folks, from everyone here in the office have a Defiant New Year!
Written by: Angus Skaaland on Jan. 3rd, 2010 at 9:02pm
First thing’s first, let me address Mark Zylbert:
Fuck Mark Zylbert.
Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let me elaborate. Zylbert likes to take pot-shots at other promotions, places like Hostility that’s on it’s deathbed, or Uncensored that’s embroiled in it’s own controversies just brought about by their name and style.
And he talks about places like HOW, shitting on them in one breath and then praising them in the next. It’s like he wants people to think he’s got balls, but in the end he doesn’t want to lose his precious contacts and affiliates.
(For more on my own thoughts about HOW, please continue reading.)
Then he fucks around as let’s the word “defiance” fall out of his mouth.
Maybe Mr. Zylbert has forgotten who facilitated Dream’s inclusion into the Alliance. Maybe he’s also forgotten who let him into Florida in the first place. Let me make it perfectly clear, if and when Eric Dane files a discrepancy on territorial incursion, Dream will pull up their skirts and go on back to wherever they used to run their shitty shows at.
If he thinks that just because the rights to a promotion that used to be respected and kept the doors from falling off for half a year he should be given some kind of award then he’s in for some disappointments in the very near future.
Besides, as far as Defiance is concerned, DWF isn’t even the best thing going in the state of Florida, let alone the Alliance. So of those corporate wannabe’s want to stick their nose in Defiance business, fine, so be it, but when it turns out that the eGG Bandits and… wait, do they even have anybody else?
Adrien Cochrane maybe?
Okay, so, Doozer, Jiles, and Adrien are going to save the Alliance?
You know what, never mind. I shouldn’t even have to comment on how little a chance that revolving door of a shit-factory has in a fight against Eric Dane and Defiance. And I mean that physically, politically, and monetarily.
This is the final warning, keep your nose clean and fall in line, it wouldn’t be wise for anyone to unnecessarily raise the ire of a man like Eric Dane.
Trust me.
There is only one Savior of the WfWA, and that man is not Mark Zylbert.
Now, moving right along, that man isn’t Mike Best, either. And, as it turns out, he’s one of those cock-hounds. So, HOW’s big ploy is that one brother takes it in the ass in prison, and the other takes it in the ass on purpose?
I don’t get it.
Defiance stomped their asses in the ratings at HOTv, Defiance is going to stomp their asses in their own tournament, and if anyone gets lippy about it, like that idiot Aceldema, then somebody from Defiance will gladly come on up to Chicago and stomp their ass too.
As for Wrestling Mid-West, those guys run a hell of a promotion up there, they’ve got some future stars in the ring and they’ve got the good sense to do their thing and sit back and wait on this little “War” to be over. WMW are to be praised for understanding their role in the new WfWA and accepting their spot in the hierarchy from here on out.
The same goes for Uncensored. I can tell you for a fact that Eric Dane has met with Spyder Gainey on at least one occasion and has nothing but good things to say about him and his promotion. It’s ties like these that will hold the Alliance together in the new year, while blowhards and cum-guzzlers try to razzle-dazzle you with their bankroll.
Well fuck that, and fuck them.
I’ve said it before, but allow me to reiterate:
Our Dicks > their dicks
End of story.
Now, moving along to something that people may actually have some modicum of interest in, the race to the Defiance Heavyweight Crown heated up on Episode 02 of Defiance TV as Aaron Vasquez and D.R. Kongo took leads in their individual blocks, and Bronson Box, Cobra, and Johnny Lightning made statements with their wins as well. The D1 Champions Carnival is shaping up to be the hottest thing going in the Alliance as 2010 gets up and going in January and February!
Here’s the points table after Round 2:
Block A:
1. D.R. Kongo [3]
2. Jimmy Kort [2]
2. Bronson Box [2]
4. Joe Drago [1]
5. Stephen Greer [0]
Block B:
1. Aaron Vasquez [4]
2. Cobra [2]
3. Johnny Lightning [1]
3. Leon Booth [1]
5. Josias Solaine [0]
It’s still wide open, and any of these ten men could take home the trophy and the title! There are a lot of points left on the table to be earned, but If things keep going the way they’ve been going we could see a very interesting Final Four Sudden Death after all five rounds of the League portion of the tournament are in the books!
Speculation has been tossed about recently about a secondary singles title as well as the planned Tag Team Titles that I spoke on last week. I can say for sure that we will be implementing another belt in the near future as our roster expands and we develop the need and the means to support one. I know that Eric wants to run this thing with a very oldschool vibe, and part of that vibe is a title belt for those guys on their way up the ladder toward bigger and better things!
So, don’t be surprised when you hear the announcements!
That’s all the time that I’ve got for you today, we’re gearing up for the first show of the New Year and Eric’s got me running all over the South trying to secure the venues as we build toward our first big event in late February or early March.
Keep it locked here and on the Defiance website for more news and notes as they happen folks, from everyone here in the office have a Defiant New Year!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [12.13.09]
The AngusBlog Version 2.0 [12.13.09]
Written by: Angus Skaaland on Dec. 13th 2009 at 6:21pm
Well hello there fags and faggette’s, it’s yer ol’ buddy Angus Skaaland coming to you once again from the land of the INNARWEBZ! With Defiance now up and kicking, I figured it was high time to bring back the blog so I can let you suckers in on all of the Need-to-Know information right from the eye of the storm!
Now you might be asking yourself: “What the fuck is this Need-to-Know information that you’re blathering on about Angus?”
The quick answer is the following:
Defiance > Alliance
You see what I did there?
Eric Dane declared all out War on the WfWA, and then personally fired the first shots last night in Atlanta! First off he went out and hand-picked some of the brightest up and comers from the past two years that for some reason The Alliance decided to give the bone rather than giving them the ball and letting them run.
You can’t possibly believe that guys like Joe Drago, Johnny Lightning, Leon Booth, Aaron Vasquez and Jimmy Kort couldn’t have helped the Alliance through the last excuse for a year! Sure, they were all WC:C guys instead of Alliance guys, but come on! WE WON THEIR BIG BAD SUMMER GAMES TOURNAMENT! Then again, in hindsight maybe that’s why some of the most talented guys I’ve ever seen was ignored by the WfWA for likes of Chris Cannon and Adrien Cochrane.
…
Yeah, I can’t even understand that shit.
You know what else we did? We went out and picked up some of the hottest prospects from around the independent scenes, guys like Bronson Box, D.R. Kongo and Josias Solaine and we brought them to Defiance so they can make their names while rebuilding the Alliance from the ground up…
Right after they help us CRUSH it!
You’d think we’d have stopped there, but FUCK NO we wouldn’t! With Eric Dane involved you knew that Tyrone Walker and Stephen Greer couldn’t be far behind! And what else to they bring to the table but the World Tag Team Titles! Team Danger will never die, and with Walker and Greer as Eric Dane’s lead enforcers you can better believe that more people than just that pissant Jack Amethyst are going to wind up crippled and crying in a hospital.
And speaking of the former World Champion, was anybody else surprised as I was that he had the absolute BALLS to come to Defiance? I mean, has he not been paying attention for the past DECADE? A man like Eric Dane doesn’t issue idle threats, and he doesn’t have a shred of patience for whelps who like to run around pretending to a Champion!
And that brings me to our partnership with the Alliance’s reigning Warlord, the BRAND NEW World Heavyweight Champion Cobra! Did we pull the sheets over the WfWA’s eyes or what? I mean, seriously, COBRA! Absolutely nobody saw that one coming, hell Jack still didn’t have it figured out when Cobra dropped him on the back of his head off the top rope and pinned him to take his second WfWA World Title! If I know Jack, he probably didn’t figure it out until he woke up the next morning without his crutch, the title belt.
Personally, I’ve always thought Cobra was being held back. Even with his previous World Title reign there just always seemed to be something missing. And then I met the guy last week and I figured it out.
Passion.
The man burns for the business. He yearns for more, for a return to the Glory days of the Alliance. And while he was pissing around in Hudson River and getting dicked over as it pertains to that fag Brad Jackson, his passion was stunted. Well, you and I saw first hand what the man can do when unleashed, and you’d better fucking believe that Eric Dane is going to unleash Cobra on the rest of the WfWA every chance he gets!
Now, this isn’t some kind of “new” world order, Defiance isn’t here to bolster the ratings of the company we’re trying to run over! We’re here to provide the world with the best wrestling action possible! And how are we doing that?
The D1 Champions Carnival, that’s how!
If you haven’t figured it out yet, Cobra and Stephen Greer have filled out the ranks of the blocks of the league, and we’ve got ten of the best wrestlers on the planet battling it out Round Robin style to determine who will get the glory of holding the IWC Heavyweight Title and the bragging rights that goes along with it!
The tournament kicked off last night with some hot matches, but we’ve still got four more rounds of action to go before we take it up a notch and go into a Sudden Death playoff to determine the champion!
Here’s the points table as of now:
Block A:
1. Jimmy Kort [2]
2. D.R. Kongo [1]
2. Joe Drago [1]
4. Bronson Box [0]
5. Stephen Greer [-]
Block B:
1. Aaron Vasquez [2]
2. Johnny Lightning [1]
2. Leon Booth [1]
4. Josias Solaine [0]
5. Cobra [-]
Those rankings are sure to change as the weeks go by, and when it’s all said and done you can better believe that the best possible Champion for Defiance will be chosen.
And don’t think that we’re sticking with one title belt! Over the past week alone we’ve signed The Sex Symbols, Southern Hospitality, and the Kaiser Brothers, all great tag teams who are hungry to get ahead and possibly even take on Team Danger for the World Tag Team Titles! We’re looking at a couple more teams right now, and we’re always looking to bring in the best tag teams that we can get our hands on as Defiance’s whole reason for being is to show the other guys just exactly how you’re supposed to run a wrestling organization!
Add to that the fact that a possible second singles title is already being discussed, and you can bet that Defiance wrestlers will be sharpening their claws to tear into each other and prove just who the best in the world really is!
Well, that’s about all I’ve got the inclination to get into this time, Dane’s got us working fourteen hour days here in the office, and my lunch break is just about up. Stay tuned to the blog, though, because I’ve got something to say about every one of those new regions the WfWA brought in to try to stop Defiance from taking over! You can better believe nobody’s gonna like it, but then, has that ever stopped me before?
See ya later, kiddies!
Written by: Angus Skaaland on Dec. 13th 2009 at 6:21pm
Well hello there fags and faggette’s, it’s yer ol’ buddy Angus Skaaland coming to you once again from the land of the INNARWEBZ! With Defiance now up and kicking, I figured it was high time to bring back the blog so I can let you suckers in on all of the Need-to-Know information right from the eye of the storm!
Now you might be asking yourself: “What the fuck is this Need-to-Know information that you’re blathering on about Angus?”
The quick answer is the following:
Defiance > Alliance
You see what I did there?
Eric Dane declared all out War on the WfWA, and then personally fired the first shots last night in Atlanta! First off he went out and hand-picked some of the brightest up and comers from the past two years that for some reason The Alliance decided to give the bone rather than giving them the ball and letting them run.
You can’t possibly believe that guys like Joe Drago, Johnny Lightning, Leon Booth, Aaron Vasquez and Jimmy Kort couldn’t have helped the Alliance through the last excuse for a year! Sure, they were all WC:C guys instead of Alliance guys, but come on! WE WON THEIR BIG BAD SUMMER GAMES TOURNAMENT! Then again, in hindsight maybe that’s why some of the most talented guys I’ve ever seen was ignored by the WfWA for likes of Chris Cannon and Adrien Cochrane.
…
Yeah, I can’t even understand that shit.
You know what else we did? We went out and picked up some of the hottest prospects from around the independent scenes, guys like Bronson Box, D.R. Kongo and Josias Solaine and we brought them to Defiance so they can make their names while rebuilding the Alliance from the ground up…
Right after they help us CRUSH it!
You’d think we’d have stopped there, but FUCK NO we wouldn’t! With Eric Dane involved you knew that Tyrone Walker and Stephen Greer couldn’t be far behind! And what else to they bring to the table but the World Tag Team Titles! Team Danger will never die, and with Walker and Greer as Eric Dane’s lead enforcers you can better believe that more people than just that pissant Jack Amethyst are going to wind up crippled and crying in a hospital.
And speaking of the former World Champion, was anybody else surprised as I was that he had the absolute BALLS to come to Defiance? I mean, has he not been paying attention for the past DECADE? A man like Eric Dane doesn’t issue idle threats, and he doesn’t have a shred of patience for whelps who like to run around pretending to a Champion!
And that brings me to our partnership with the Alliance’s reigning Warlord, the BRAND NEW World Heavyweight Champion Cobra! Did we pull the sheets over the WfWA’s eyes or what? I mean, seriously, COBRA! Absolutely nobody saw that one coming, hell Jack still didn’t have it figured out when Cobra dropped him on the back of his head off the top rope and pinned him to take his second WfWA World Title! If I know Jack, he probably didn’t figure it out until he woke up the next morning without his crutch, the title belt.
Personally, I’ve always thought Cobra was being held back. Even with his previous World Title reign there just always seemed to be something missing. And then I met the guy last week and I figured it out.
Passion.
The man burns for the business. He yearns for more, for a return to the Glory days of the Alliance. And while he was pissing around in Hudson River and getting dicked over as it pertains to that fag Brad Jackson, his passion was stunted. Well, you and I saw first hand what the man can do when unleashed, and you’d better fucking believe that Eric Dane is going to unleash Cobra on the rest of the WfWA every chance he gets!
Now, this isn’t some kind of “new” world order, Defiance isn’t here to bolster the ratings of the company we’re trying to run over! We’re here to provide the world with the best wrestling action possible! And how are we doing that?
The D1 Champions Carnival, that’s how!
If you haven’t figured it out yet, Cobra and Stephen Greer have filled out the ranks of the blocks of the league, and we’ve got ten of the best wrestlers on the planet battling it out Round Robin style to determine who will get the glory of holding the IWC Heavyweight Title and the bragging rights that goes along with it!
The tournament kicked off last night with some hot matches, but we’ve still got four more rounds of action to go before we take it up a notch and go into a Sudden Death playoff to determine the champion!
Here’s the points table as of now:
Block A:
1. Jimmy Kort [2]
2. D.R. Kongo [1]
2. Joe Drago [1]
4. Bronson Box [0]
5. Stephen Greer [-]
Block B:
1. Aaron Vasquez [2]
2. Johnny Lightning [1]
2. Leon Booth [1]
4. Josias Solaine [0]
5. Cobra [-]
Those rankings are sure to change as the weeks go by, and when it’s all said and done you can better believe that the best possible Champion for Defiance will be chosen.
And don’t think that we’re sticking with one title belt! Over the past week alone we’ve signed The Sex Symbols, Southern Hospitality, and the Kaiser Brothers, all great tag teams who are hungry to get ahead and possibly even take on Team Danger for the World Tag Team Titles! We’re looking at a couple more teams right now, and we’re always looking to bring in the best tag teams that we can get our hands on as Defiance’s whole reason for being is to show the other guys just exactly how you’re supposed to run a wrestling organization!
Add to that the fact that a possible second singles title is already being discussed, and you can bet that Defiance wrestlers will be sharpening their claws to tear into each other and prove just who the best in the world really is!
Well, that’s about all I’ve got the inclination to get into this time, Dane’s got us working fourteen hour days here in the office, and my lunch break is just about up. Stay tuned to the blog, though, because I’ve got something to say about every one of those new regions the WfWA brought in to try to stop Defiance from taking over! You can better believe nobody’s gonna like it, but then, has that ever stopped me before?
See ya later, kiddies!
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